A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see that his
bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.
Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently  on the pillow that
was addressed to ‘Dad.’
With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling
hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:

It is with great  regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to
elope with my  new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom
and  you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so  nice.
But I knew you would not approve of her because of all  her piercings,
tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact  that she is much older
than I am.

But it’s not only the passion…Dad she’s pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be  very happy. She owns a trailer in the
woods and has a stack of  firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream
of having many  more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that  marijuana doesn’t really
hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for  ourselves and trading it with the
other people that live nearby  for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can  get
better.

She deserves it.

Don’t worry Dad.  I’m 15 and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday I’m sure  that we will be back to visit so that you can get to
know your grandchildren.

Love,

Your Son John,

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Tommy’s house. I just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life  than the report
card that’s in my center desk drawer.

I love you.

Call me when it’s safe to come home

Submitted by Grant