5 Reasons why the United Kingdom should join Scandinavia

1. Eurovision Song Contest

Nobody ever votes for the UK at the Eurovision Song Contest anymore (apart from Malta) even though we clearly have the best entry every year.  By joining with Sweden, Norway, and Denmark we can challenge the Eastern Bloc and mediterranean countries more effectively with tactical voting.

2. We look the same!

British people look very similar to Scandinavians.  If you were to line up 10 English people next to 10 Scandies you’d really struggle to tell the difference.  The following pictures clearly show the similarity between Swedish and English ladies:

3. Same Language

All Scandinavian people speak very good English, usually far better than many British people.  And many Scandinavians have very good English accents, apart from Jan Molby obviously.

4. Geography

The UK is actually closer to Scandinavia than the Nordic countries of Iceland and the Faroe Islands.  This would suggest that the UK is already more Scandinavian than these countries.  The map below quite clearly shows how close the United Kingdom is to Denmark, Norway and Sweden:

5. United Kingdom

Finland, the Faroe Islands, and Iceland should join Scandinavia at the same time as Great Britain and Northern Ireland.  The Republic of Ireland could also join up if they agree to give us 12 points at future Eurovision Song Contests.  It would make sense to rename this larger trading area with a new name to symbolise the new united group of countries. 

I recommend we adopt the name ‘United Kingdom’:

It’s obvious really, isn’t it!  I think we should build a bridge across the North Sea immediately. 

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