Submitted by Grant

Paddy and Mick were both laid off, so they went to the unemployment office.
When asked his occupation, Paddy answered, ‘Knicker Stitcher.  I  sew da elastic
onto ladies’ knickers and thongs.’ 
The clerk looked up Knicker Stitcher on his computer and, finding it classified as
unskilled labour, he gave him £80 a week unemployment pay. 
Mick was next in and […]

Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the
doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the
gentleman to hear 100%.  The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor
and the doctor said, ‘Your hearing is perfect. Your family must […]

Ever wonder why men can’t play
football with women?

Submitted by Grant

BULLFROGS  & BLOW JOBS
A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday.
After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive.
She told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but she didn’t want to spend
a fortune.
‘Well,’ said the clerk, ‘I have a very large bullfrog. They […]

Submitted by Craig

Submitted by Barry

FOUND IN A BAR SOMEWHERE–for the fishermen I know

Submitted by Grant

  At 85 years of age, Roger married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old.
Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and
Roger should
have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may
overexert himself if they spend the entire night together.
After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares […]

In a mental institution a nurse walks into a room and sees a Patient pretending
he’s driving a car with his hands at 10 and 2.
 
The nurse asks him,”Kevin! What are you doing?”
 
Kevin replied, “Can’t talk right now I’m driving to Chicago !”
 
The nurse wishes him a good trip and leaves the room.
 
The next day the […]